Monday, June 19, 2006

Victory to Moroccan Imperialism!!



Hola to everybody of my readers! I am back from my adventurous holiday to the truly appalling Ceuta and Melilla. What fucking shitholes those places are. Almost make me happy to be back in the pissing rain of lovely fucking Ireland.

Is people there at those barnacle of civilization on the backsnide of the great whale of Africa that would make me ashame to be Spanish. Believe me. They are big fucking disgrace. For sake of analogogy for my British and Ireland readers, imagine you are a British person who want to go on holiday, and you say to yourself, "I don't want nocrappy foreign holiday, I will go where people are more British than the British, which mean the colonies. I know! I shall go to the East Belfast, where they are stronghold of Britishness against southern Republican pretensions. Is bound to be a place where Britishness is celebrated and all the old traditions are maintained with proper awe and reference."

Only, when you get to East Belfast, you find that it is people by maniac thugs and drug dealers who wear the baseball caps and are into bodysculpting and weightlifting and uniforms and Tina Turner song "Simplky the Best" and therefore it all seems unhealthily homorerotic, like the Red Adair and his UVAs. "Lumme, guvnor," you would say to yourself, "This is not some standard definition of Britishness that I recognize. These people are truly appalling. Is probably best if we give this bit of britain to the Irish government so they can plant it with Skangers and Gurriers, two well-known forms of Irish vegetable."

This is how I am feeling about the Ceuta and Melilla. The Spanish peoples there is giving fascism a bad name. Is best therefore that we give these two colonies back. Then all asylum seekers and refugees would find themself in holding camp, waiting to get into Morocco and not Spain! Is clever, no? Instead, they would have to make their way up the coast, and try to swim to Gibraltar. Which is not belonging to Spain at all, but to Britain. They would then be British responsibility, not Spanish. Of course, people in Gibraltar would not be happy at all, but they are never happy. Is because they are more British than the British, just like people in East Belfast! Ha ha ha ha ha.

10 comments:

Sandra said...

El Manuel es maravilloso!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Reading this blog is a real education. What about the cheeky Catalans then?

Dr Maroon said...

Usted es simplemente el mejor.

Snoop said...

Hello gorilla bananas. I'll be glad to hear what the great Manuel has to say, but for what it's worth, I reckon the cheeky Catalans are up their own arse.

And Sandra and dr maroon - I concur. As a real Brit might say, "splendid, splendid".

Chuck said...

I also concur. Viva El Manuel!

Anonymous said...

Thank god manuel is back. I tried to post, but Jesus kept giving me the hairy eyeball

Lung the Younger said...

Hey Manuel, where did you find that photo of the Shankhill Road?

Rob said...

You,my good chap, have obviously never been to Sunderland. It is exactly like that, but it's denizens are more turnip-faced after the manner of russian kulaks.

PMJ said...

What about that Spain in the World Cup eh? Aqui nos vamos, Aqui nos vamos, Aqui nos vamos.
And where are Morocco eh? In Morocco thats where ha ha.
I see they still do the riding horses while firing ancient firearms into the air schtick.
Mind you, I quite like cous-cous, and I found out that I could get rid of the annoying street urchins by pretending to be Danish. Now thats something you don't learn in a guide book.

The Swearing Lady said...

Acabo de tener un accidente.


Which is not Spanish for, "I love you, Manuel."